Daughtry - No Surprise

 

 No Surprise

I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no, as no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

The kiss goodnight, it comes with me
Both wrong and right, our memories
The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing that you can't keep
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

She'd Like To Know, What If...??

Mary met Michael when she was in junior high, she was 14. Mary and her best friend were walking across the hall when they saw a new kid everyone talked about. Michael was walking alone toward them, he hasn't make a friend yet. In a slightest chance, Mary caught Michael's eyes was glanced to her for a few seconds before he passed her. She didn't think of anything until almost the end of the day, she was in the same chemistry class with Michael and she found him did the same thing again.

That day, the teacher asked them to find a partner to collaborate in a chemistry project. Mary saw that her best friend already left her for another person. Mary was disappointed and she sat by herself, she was waiting for someone asked her to be her partner. She was surprised when Michael came and said, "can I sit with you?". She began to think to say something when Michael added, "please, I don't know anybody here." And she nodded.

He pulled out a stool, reached out his hand and ready to shook Mary's hand. She stared at him, like she must have made aquainted before him as a polite manner but she didn't. ah, never mind, Mary thought.

"hi, I'm..." as his hand encompassed hers.

"I know who you are"  he finished with a big smile, one she would later miss.

The moment passed, the sparks between them was kinda blurry after that. They didn't become friend or else. When seldom was found they stared at each other and didn't know what to do. And it became a habit for them. As Mary convinced herself that there was nothing going on between them, but the thought of him already captured her mind. She couldn't help herself but wonder, what's behind those lovely eyes? why his lips are still shut when his eyes seems like saying something?

Mary and Michael were remain in the same phase after a few months. Her best friend once told her that she eavesed drop some girls were talking about Michael, in regard to that she said "that boy is sprung on you, biatch! why do you think he makes stupid eye contact with you all the time?". Mary dropped a sarcasm laugh, "naaahh.. I don't think so. I think he has something in his eyes that never left". but her mind questioned, is it really like that?

One weekend, Mary was in a park. She was half way heading home from a bookstore nearby. She sat in a bench, reading her new book when her eyes met a familiar figure passed her by. She didn't think at first, it was a complete impulsive action when she shouted, "Hey, Michael !". Michael turned his body and saw Mary was waving at him. He smiled. She never regret her impulsive action because, well, none of them thought that afternoon would be captivating. Michael sat beside her and they began to talk, revert to the previous easy talk at chemistry class. Michael asked about the book Mary read. She showed her novel by Nicholas Spark, titled Message In A Bottle. "Isn't it an old story? I think I saw the movie years ago." said Michael. She agreed, "yea, I like dusty book, the story never gets old, only the author does". They laughed.

Suddenly the clouds covered the sky and thunder began to blast. "it's gonna rain", said Michael. But no one moved. In silence, Mary knew she hate to end this rendezvous. Michael turned his head and looked at her in a way she never thought he would. And she felt something weird inside her chest. Her heartbeat was jumping upside down. It was really uncomfortable yet, she enjoyed it.

"I'm kinda hungry, do you want to grab something to eat? McDonald is across the street." Michael pointed the yellow big smiling McDonald statue. She couldn't do anything but said, "ok" cheerfully.

Between a big mac and double cheese burger, between strawberry and chocolate milk shakes, they fell into a connection they couldn't resist. The rain poured out from the sky. Mary was looking some pedestrians running around the street outside, tried to escape from the rain. She also knew Michael was staring at her while he chewed his food. Minutes gone, his gaze was killing her so she decided to break it.

"hey, stop it. I saw you did the same thing yesterday in the hallway"

"what?"

"that staring thing." she pointed Michael's eyes.

He laughed and said, "really? well, I think I have something in my eyes. It never go away, so disturbing".

She didn't think it was hilarious. She just found the sound of his laughter, ringing softly in her ears. And she remembered she told the same thing to her best friend. Both of them stalled off the truth.

"well, we should do this again." Michael turn off and started new topic.

"what?"

"this. us, going out. I like it." He looked like he meant every word of it.

"yea, sure"

"there's a cool place in the mountain I'd like to take you one day" He finished the line with a big grin.

Mary realize that she was blushing. That moment, as she drank her strawberry milk shake, she never had a taste as sweet as this one.

For Mary and Michael, none of them knew that was the only chance for them to get together. Before they even finished their meal, Michael's cell phone rang. Something happened with his mom so he needed to go home right away. Michael never told Mary what was happening. "I'm so sorry, Mary. I have to go now", as he rushed out from the chair. She just stared at him as he walked away through the rain. On monday, as she walked in the school yard, she didn't know that Michael was gone. Rumors said that Michael transferred to another school, it was quick and no body knows what happen. He left an unfinished conversation that he was the only one who could fill the blank, so was her heart. In the end, she knew her crush was over.

Years later,

Today Mary is graduating from collage. She's going to a graduation party that her friend held at a beach house. She come with her boyfriend, who she dates for a couple years. The room was crowded when she came. "who are these people? I don't think I know them all" Mary's shouting in her bf's ears as the music is too loud. "who cares? Its a party" her bf reply. Her bf wrap his arm around her tightly and kiss her cheek the way he always does, the way she always loves. He's right, who cares.

As they entering the room, Mary's eyes scanning the whole room. And her eyes met a form she knew a long time ago. She find herself hard to believe her eyes when she think of all the places in the world, she would see that boy again today, in this place. Mary find Michael is playing stick on a pool table with some guys. Michael's face doesn't really change so much so she still recognize him. So does her heart. Mary tell her bf she need to go to the powder room, actually she wants to catch her breath.

In the middle of the party, Mary still haven't have a chance to meet Michael eye to eye, they didn't bump into each other either. When Mary came out from the powder room, Michael was no longer at that pool table. Mary and her bf mingled in the crowd, few hours later Mary got tired. She excused herself from a group she and her bf crashed into. She go outside and walk to the beach.

She was still at the porch when she finally meet Michael. Both of them were surprise. Mary caught his eyes toward hers and saw a glance of a bit shock. In that moment, they shook their hands one more time as two long lost people. Michael asked Mary where she was going, she said she was gonna go to the beach. He offered companion, Mary didn't refuse. And they walk side by side once again.

They're sharing stories as they're walking away. Nice and easy. The farther they go, the memories of their youth comes up to the surface. Michael tell her what happen a long time ago. That he had to flew to England immediately because his father a had heart attack and die. He apologize for his sudden absence.

"I don't know, Mary, is it a coincidence or God just give me a second chance to make it right with you", said Michael as he stop and turn to Mary. "to say that I was sorry"

"Enough with the apologize, why do you have so say it many times?"

"Because I promised you, that I'd like to take you out." he pause. "back then, I think I had a..."

Mary's not giving Michael a chance to finish his sentence as she see his black eyes staring at her deeply, pierce to her heart. She know she doesn't want to hear it. Whatever comes out from that sweet little lips that been sealed for years.

"I know. But it doesn't matter. It was a long time ago"

Michael turn away and start to walk again. Mary hear Michael take a deep breath, its more like a sigh that contains pain. "you right. It was", he added.

"Let's go back to the house. Its late"

It is her decision to stop moving backward. She loves her bf so much and this time she wants to go to her loved one. Time can not bring back what left behind. There was a time when Mary had a crush on Michael, there was a time when she wander what would happen if Michael took her to the mountain. What would happen if Michael never left? There was a time when she dreamt of how good they would make if they were together.

Mary has moved on. In the end, there's always an unspoken word between them. And after all, time can not erase the question Mary has in mind, that she would like to know,what if....??

Regards,

Kezia Mamoto

saturday romance II

Cinderella walked upon broken glass,

Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass,

Belle fall in love with a hideous beast,

Jasmine married a common thief,

Ariel walked on land for love and life,

Snow white barely escaped a knife,

Yeah, love is sweet and blood and tears... 

I love being married,

Its so great to find one special person

you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Meant to be :
Mickey and Minnie,
Romeo and Juliet,
The moon and stars,
Movie and popcorn,
Pen and paper,
Cookies and milk,

me and you...

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,

I could walk forever in my garden.  

-Charlie Brown

The greatest ironies of life:
having the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right,
and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ....
-Dr. V. Para


 Excuse me,
I want cupid shoot himself with his own damn arrow,
so he can learn how much love hurts!

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
-Murphy's Laws of Sex

...and she's so scared to get close to anyone,

because everyone that ever said 'I'll be there',

L.E.F.T


But if you wanna leave, you can.

I'll remember you, tough

just like I remember everyone that leaves.

Sometimes you have to fall down from the mountain
to realize what you are climbing for.
Obstacles are placed in our way to see
if what we want is really worth fighting for.
From every wound there's a scar,
and every scar tells a story,

A story that says :
I was deeply wounded but I survive.

Sometimes a person lets go, 

just because their fingers are too tired of holding on.

They'll always love you, tough

no matter what...

I judge book by its price

Beberapa waktu kemarin gue maen ke toko buku... kangen banget sama bau buku..*unyu momen ^_^

tapi gue nggak belaga gila nyium-nyiumin buku yang akan membangkitkan amarah mbak-mbak spg. Gue kul aja, lewat didepan rak buku, ambil satu buku yang terbuka rapi, gue bolak balik halamannya lalu gue hirup aroma kertasnya dalam-dalam.. aahhh.. seger!

Kemudian.. seperti biasa, gue ngecek buku gue laku apa nggak. Rasanya gimane gitu liat buku sendiri dipajang dirak toko buku.. agak-agak narsis najis lah.

Gue dari dulu punya perasaan khusus sama kertas... kalo perasaan ini makin lama makin jadi, gue pengen nembak sih.. tapi gak kebayang kalo ditolak. halaahh...

Eniwei, waktu gue menelusuri jalan diantara rak buku-buku, seperti biasa, pikiran gue terganggu sama satu pepatah tua yang sering dijadikan wanti-wanti sama orang-orang,

don't judge a book by it's cover. Kira-kira klo ditranslate, jangan ngehukum buku pake sampul... keren!

Well, gue pun memikirkan maksud kata-kata itu... hasilnya, gue seperti melihat gambaran polkadot, yang harus diisi lobang-lobang kosongnya supaya jadi satu gambaran yang jelas.

...

Buku gue sendiri sampulnya gambar cewek ngerokok sama cowok botak. Padahal gue nggak nulis tentang rokok atau tentang tips mengatasi kerontokan rambut. Seandainya para botakers membeli buku gue, mereka kurang beruntung dan menghujat keputusan mereka membeli buku gue.

Kemudian mereka akan menggosipkan bahwa gue penipu...kemudian gue akan dikucilkan dan dijatuhkan... kemudian gue akan dituntut...kemudian gue akan dipenjara...kemudian gue dan anak gue akan terlantar hidupnya...kemudian anak gue akan putus sekolah... Hush..ngelantur!

Bukan...bukan itu maksudnya. I mean, sampul buku memang sifatnya adalah mewakili isi buku.. sifat lainnya adalah baik hati, murah senyum, dan rajin menyapu. Semuanya baik dan patut dijadikan sauri tauladan... tapi ada yang kurang rasanya kalo cuma liat sampulnya.

Hari gini, pertanyaan yang paling sering muncul adalah, "berapaan tuh?". Pertanyaan seperti ini bukan hanya muncul dalam percakapan ibu-ibu dan tukang panci disore hari, tapi dimana-mana. Seakan-akan harga dijadikan acuan penilaian yang menentukan keputusan untuk memiliki sesuatu. Sekalipun sesuatu itu secara subjektif dinilai baik, mereka tetap memikirkan harga yang harus dibayar. Maaf, gue nggak maksud membahas prinsip-prinsip ekonomi, atau perbedaan tipis antara ekonomis dan pelit, atau sabun colek merk ekonomi. Tapi, sepenting itukah 'harga' dalam hidup manusia?

Sometimes people consider, for what's worthily or not.

Do you want to stay in unstable working environment if its not worth it?

Do you want to wait for someone if its not worth it?

Is it worth the money if I buy?

Is it worth the price if I pay?

I've been said that, beberapa orang sudah membayar 'harga' terlalu mahal untuk sesuatu yang pada akhirnya membuat mereka kecewa ataupun sebaliknya, mereka senang ketika harga sebanding dengan kepuasan. So, buat gue, penampilan luar atau 'sampul' bisa jadi tidak meninggalkan kesan apa-apa ketika manusia menilai lewat sebuah 'harga'.

Talking about what's price to pay is important. I think people want to feel satisfied after they paid certain amount of prices. And then I came up with a conclusion that filled the blank on my head... I don't judge book by its cover, I judge book by its price.

Demikian racauan gue... udah ah..

Regards,

Kezia Mamoto

some of the greatest pleasures in life ^_^

What I've Learned

I've grown up and...

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, 

Unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon,

And all the less important ones just never go away.
And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

I've learned that depression isn't sign of weak,

It’s a sign that you've been hold on for so long.

I've learned that no matter how hard you try,

Sometimes things don’t work as you want.

I've learned that no matter how much you care, 

Some people are just jackasses

who forget how to be good.

 I've learned that alcohol will kill you in 30 years.

Smoking will kill you in 10 years. 

But unrequited love will kill you everyday

I've learned that behind every "I'm fine" and "I'm alright",

Is a mind and soul occupied with confusion,

Try to find solution.

I've learned that you will never face the longest relationship,

Until you get married,

And have kids.

I've learned that you will never experience "love at the first sight",

Until you see the face of your child for the very first time.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. 

All you can do is stalk them

And hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that life is a series of making decisions,

"I have no choice" is absolutely absurd.

I've learned that the world will never stop turning,

And the clocks will always ticking

No matter how miserable you are.

I've learned that God knows what He's doing,
our brain is too little for His way,
and I'm still learning...

Regards,

Kezia Mamoto

Kematian Paman Gober

Kematian Paman Gober

oleh : Seno Gumira Adjidarma

Kematian paman gober ditunggu-tunggu semua bebek. Tidak ada lagi yang bisa dilakukan selain menunggu-nunggu saat itu. Setiap kali penduduk Kota Bebek membuka koran, yang mereka ingin ketahui hanya satu hal : apakah hari ini Paman Gober sudah mati. Paman Gober memang terlalu kuat, terlalu licin, dan bertambah kaya setiap hari. Gudang-gudang uangnya berderet dan semuanya penuh. Setiap hari Paman Gober mandi uang disana, segera setelah menghitung jumlah terakhir kekayaannya, yang tak pernah berhenti bertambah.

Begitu kayanya Paman Gober, sehingga ia tak bisa hafal lagi pabrik apa saja yang dimilikinya. Bila terlihat pabrik di depan matanya, ia hampir selalu berkata, “oh, aku lua, ternyata aku punya pabrik sepatu.” Kejadian semacam ini terulang di muka pabrik sandal, pabrik rokok, pabrik kapal,pabrik arloji, maupun pabrik tahu-tempe. Boleh dibilang, hampir tidak ada pabrik yang tidak dimiliki Paman Gober. Ibarat kata, uang dicetak hanya untuk mengalir ke gudang uang Paman Gober.

Meskipun kaya raya, anggota klub milyarder no.1, Paman Gober adalah bebek yang sangat pelit. Bahkan kepada keluarganya, Donal bebek, ia tidak pernah memberi bantuan, meski Donal telah bekerja sangat keras malah Donal ini, beserta keponakan-keponakannya Kwak, Kwik, dan Kwek, hampir selalu diperas tenaganya, dicuri gagasannya, dan hasilnya tidak pernah dibagi. Cendekiawan jenius Kota Bebek, Lang Ling Lung, yang dimuka rumahnya tertera papan nama Penemu, Bisa Ditunggu, pun hampir selalu diakalinya.

Sudah berkali-kali Gerombolan Siberat, tiga serangkai kelas kakap, menggarap gudang uang Paman Gober, namun keberuntungan selalu berada dipihak Paman Gober. Pman Gober tak terkalahkan, bahkan oleh Mimi Hitam, tukang tenung yang suka terbang naik sapu. Sudah beberapa kali Mimi Hitam berhasil merebut Keping Keberuntungan, jimat Paman Gober, namun keping uang logam kumuh itu selalu berhasil direbut kembali. Tidak bisa dipungkiri, Paman Gober memang pekerja keras. Masa mudanya habis dilorong-lorong gua emas. Sebuah gunung emas yang ditemukannya menjadi modal penting yang telah melambungkannya sebagai taipan tak tersaingi dari Kota Bebek.

Suatu hal yang menjadi keprihatinan Nenek Bebek, sesepuh Kota Bebek yang mengasingkan ke sebuah pertanian jauh di luar kota, addalah kenyataan bahwa Paman Gober dicintai kanak-kanak sedunia. Paman Gober menjadi legenda yang disukai. Paman Gober begitu rakus. Paman Gober begitu pelit. Tapi ia tidak dibenci. Setiap kali ada orang mengecam,menyaingi, pokoknya mengancam reputasi Paman Gober sebagai orang kaya, justru orang itu tidak mendapat simpati. Paman Gober bisa menangis tersedu-sedu meski hanya kehilangan uang satu sen. Ia sama sekalli bukan tokoh teladan, tapi mengapa ia bisa begitu dicintai?

“Dunia sudah jungkir balik,” ujar Nenek Bebek kepada Gus Angsa, yang meski suka makan banyak, sangat malas bekerja. Namun Gus Angsa sudah tertidur sembari bermimpi makan roti apel.

“Suatu hari dia pasti mati,” ujar Kwik.

“Memang pasti, tapi kapan?” Kwak menyahut.

“Kwek!” Hanya itulah yang bisa dikatakan Kwek. Dasar bebek.

Begitulah, setiap hari, Lubas, anjing dirumah Donal, membawa Koran itu dari depan pintu ke ruang tengah.

“Belum mati juga!”

 Donal segera membuang lagi Koran itu dengan kesal. Karena memang tiada lagi berita yang bisa dibaca di Koran. Banyak kabar, tapi bukan berita. Bnyak kalimat, tapi bukan informasi. Banyak huruf, tapi bukan pengetahuan. Koran-korantelah menjadi kertas, bukan media.

Semua bebek memang menunggu kematian Pman Gober. Itulah kabar terbaik yang mereka harapkan terbaca. Paman Gober sendiri sebenarnya sudah siap untuk mati. Maklumlah, sebagai generasi tua di Kota Bebek, umurnya cukup uzur. Untuk kuburanya sendiri, ia telah membeli sebuah bukit, damn membangun mausoleum di tempat itu. Jadi, bukanya Paman Gober tidak mau mati. Ia sudah siap untuk mati.

“Mestinya, bebek seumur saya ini, biasanya ya sudah tahu diri, siap masuk ke liang kubur. Makanya, ketika saya diminta menjadi Ketua Perkumpulan Unggas Kaya, saya merasakan kegetiran dalam hati saya, sampai beberapa lama saya bisa bertahan? Apa tidak ada bebek lain yang mampu menjadi ketua?”

Kalimat semacam itu masuk ke dalam buku otobiografinya, Pergulatan Batin Gober Bebek, yang menjadi bacaan wajib bebek-bebek yang ingin sukses. Hampir setiap bab dalam buku itu mangisahkan bagaimana Paman Gober memeburu kekayaan. Mulai dari harta karun bajak laut, pulau emas, sampai sayuran yang membuat bebek-bebek giat bekerja, meski tidak diberi upah tambahan. Bab terakhir diberi judul Sampai Kapan Saya Berkuasa?. Memang, Paman Gober adalah ketua terlama Perkumpulan Unggas Kaya. Entah kenapa, ia selalu terpilih kembali, meski pemilihan selalu berlangsung seolah-olah demokratis. Begitu seringnya ia terpilih, sampai-sampai seperti tidak ada calon yang lain lagi.

“Terlalu, masak tidak ada bebek lain?”

Paman Gober selalu berbasa-basi. Namun, entah kenapa, kini bebek-bebek menjadi takut. Paman Gober, memang, terlalu berkuasa dan terl;alu kaya. Setiap hari yang dilakukannya adalah mandi uang. Ketika Donal Bebek bertanya dengan kritis, mengapa Paman Gober tidak pernah peduli kepada tetannga, bantuan keuangannya kepada Donal segera dihentikan.

“Kamu bebek tidak tahu diri, sudah dibantu, masih meleter pula.”

“Apakah saya tidak punya hak bicara?”

“Bisa, tapi janngan asal meleter, nanti kamu aku sembelih.”

“Aduh, kejam sekali, menyembelih bebek hanya dilakukan manusia.”

“Ah, siapa bilang bebek tidak kalah kejam dari manusia.”

“Lho, manusia makan bebek, apakah bebek makan manusia?”

“Yang jelas manusia bisa makan manusia.”

“Tapi Paman mau menyembelih sesama bebek, apakah sudah mau meniru sifat manusia?”

Paman Gober mempunyai banyak musuh, namun Paman Gober suka memelihara musuh-musuh yang tidak pernah bisa mengalahkannya itu, justru untuk menunjukkan kebesarannya. Paman Gober sering muncul di televisi. Kalau Paman Gober sudah bicara, kamera tidak berani putus, meskipun kalimat-kalimatnya membuat bebek tertidur. Paman Gober selalu menganjurkan bebek bekerja keras, seperti dirinya, dan Paman Gober juga semakin sering menceritakan ulang jasa-jasanya kepada warga Kota Bebek.

“Coba, kalau aku tidak membangun jalan, air mancur, dan monument, apa jadinya Kota Bebek?”

Tidak ada yang berani melawan. Tidak ada yang berani bicara.

“Paman Gober,” kata Donal suatu hari, kenapa Paman tidak mengundurkan diri saja, pergi ke pertanian seperti Nenek, menyepi, dan merenungkan arti hidup? Sudah waktunya Paman tidak terlibat lagi dengan urusan duniawi.”

“Lho, aku mau saja Donal. Aku mau hidup jauh dari Kota Bebek ini. Memancing, main golf, makan sayur asem, dan membaca butir-butir falsafah hidup bangsa bebek. Tapi, apa mungkin aku menolak untuk dicalonkan? Apa mungkin aku menolak kehormatan yang segenap unggas? Terus terang, sebenarnya sih aku lebih suka mengurus peternakan.”

Maka hari-hari pun berlalu tanpa penggantian pimpinan. Demokrasi berjalan, tapi tidak memikirkan pimpinan, karena memang hanya ada atu pemimpin. Segenap pengurus bisa dipilih berganti-ganti, namun kedudukan Paman Gober tidak pernah dipertanyakan. Para pelajar seperti Kwik, Kwek, dan Kwak menjadi bingung bila membandingkannya dengan sejarah kepemimpinan kota lain. Kota Bebek seolah-olah memiliki pemimpin abadi. Generasi muda yang lahir setelah Paman Gober berkuasa bahkan sudah tidak mengerti lagi, apakah pemimpin itu memang bisa diganti. Mereka pikir keabadian Paman Gober sudah semestinya.

Dan itulah celakanya kanak-kanak mencintai Paman Gober. Riwayat hidup Paman Gober dibikin komik dan diterjemahkan dalam berbagai bahasa. Bebek terkaya yang sangat pelit dan rakus ini menjadi teladan baru. Nenek Bebek tidak habis pikir, mengapa pendidikan, yang mestinya semakin canggih, membolehkan budi pekerti seperti itu. Generasi muda ingin meniru Paman Gober, menjadi bebek yang sekaya-kayanya, kalau bisa paling kaya di dunia.

“Paling kaya di dunia?” Kwak bertanya.

“ Iya, paling kaya di dunia,” jawab Nenek Bebek.

“Apakah itu hakikat hidup bebek?”

“Bukan, itu hakikat hidup Paman Gober.”

Sementara itu, nun di gudang uangnya yang sunyi, Paman Gober masih terus menghitung uangnya dari sen ke sen, tidak ditemani siapa-siapa. Matanya telah rabun. Bulunya sudah rontok. Sebetulnya ia sudah pikun, tapi ia bagai tak tergantikan.

Semua bebek menunggu kematian Paman Gober. Tiada lagi yang bisa dilakukan selain menunggu-nunggu saat itu. Setiap kali penduduk Kota Bebek membuka koran, yang ingin meraka ketahui hanya satu : apakah hari nin Paman Gober sudah mati. Seriap pagi mereka berharap akan membaca berita Kematian Paman Gober, dihalaman pertama.

Jakarta,16 Agustus 1994

...so, ini cerpen favorit gue sepanjang sejarah gue membaca cerpen-cerpen karya seniman Indonesia.  Pertama kali dicetak di Harian Republika 30 Oktober 1994, sebagai Paman Gober. Cerpen ini ditulis pada masa kekuasaan alm. Soeharto, dimana waktu itu belum ada kebebasan berbicara lisan maupun tulisan. Buku Iblis Tidak Pernah Mati adalah kumpulan cerpen yang ditulis Seno Gumira Adjidarma untuk menyindir pemerintahan orde baru. Khususnya cerpen berjudul Kematian Paman Gober, yang menurut gue adalah gambaran alm. Soeharto sendiri yang tidak pernah turun tahta selama 32 tahun.

Kezia Mamoto

Love Is (not) A Lame Joke

Jen was in trouble. Her heart was trembling so fast and she couldn't stop moving in her room. She moved from her bed side to the window, constantly. She was thinking. Once she stopped at the window, looked at the sky outside her room. It was cloudy. Suddenly she couldn't hold the tears that been hanging on her eyes for quite some times. Tears were falling one by one down in her cheek when she was thinking about her beloved, James. One question has been jumping around her mind ever since, why love turned out such a big  lame joke?

...

She remembered the day they were in love. That their youth filled with laugh and joy. They were young and deep down they knew their love was true. She remembered the day James said, "it was my intention to marry you since the first time I saw you". James was her love of her life, and Jen also was a big part of James's life. They believed that they were meant to be with each other.

When the troubled hit Jen so hard, James was on her side, always. He never left her even for one second. She was a girl who had difficulties to show her emotion infront of others. She known as a sweet cherry and sassy girl back then. Until she met James. That boy brought her sensitive side and he convinced her, "it's okay to cry once in a while". So for the first time, she cried and she cried hard. It was James's shoulder that she used as a shield, it was his chest that she used to lean on. One day he promised her, "I would never walk away from you, no matter what"...

Why? Why? Why? she sounded that word rapidly in her mind and she brought it in her sleep, disturbed her from a peace of the night. James was no longer in her life. He was gone. And Jen had no idea why. Can somebody changed so much? What went wrong?

That night was an ordinary night. They were on the way to Jen's home from her relative's wedding. For a minute they shared jokes about how lame the food was. James was driving and Jen sit next to him. Jen has no idea that after one joke, it was the night James delivered the worst news she ever heard.

"Jen, I think this is it for us", James said. Jen confused. She turned her head and looked at his guy and she saw a cold as a stone kinda expression on James's face. His eyes was blank and suddenly she felt that there was a big thick wall within the empty space that astonished her. "what do you mean?" she asked. And James replied, "I'm not in love with you anymore". It was the day that she knew her world was falling apart.

...

For months, she struggles with loneliness. How to live herself without her loved one. She never heard anything from James again ever since. Whenever she cried he would always make her feel as if he would change the world if he could, so it wouldn't hurt her anymore. But now she's crying and he's not here. She convinces herself that maybe it happen for a reason, one she doesn't understand yet. Her sadness turns into anger, and her anger turns into desperation, until she tired enough. They said time heals wound. In some cases, the more time passes, the more it hurts.

...

Months later. 

Jen went to McDonald to had a lunch and she bumped into someone she knew, her high school mates named Jack. She knew Jack has a crush on her back then. But it doesn't matter now, Jen thought. Unfortunately she was wrong. It was more likely reinventing long lost love for Jack. And after that day, Jack pursue the girl he loves once again. Countless phone calls and text messages intensely sent to Jen. Without hesitation he began to build a certain connection with Jen. 

Jack asked Jen that did she know about the heart feeling. Jen smiled and said, "yes, it is love". Then Jack asked her, "do you fall in love ever with someone in this life?", she answered with a smile. "well, if I was so lucky, I found my love so early in high school and that girl is sitting infront of me now". She laughed. "yea, I thought so, if I'm not mistaken, there was a time I kinda liked you too, Jack". They laughed together. Time passes, Jack's love increases rapidly day by day.

As for Jen, she hasn't ready. In her mind she knows Jack was up to something more than a friend. She knows that she's not desperate enough to accept Jack's love. At one weekend, Jack pry up the previous topic. He couldn't bear distances between them anymore. She said, "why you take that dialogue seriously? I was joking, silly....I was laughing, remember?"

That was the first thing popped out from Jen's mind, she was trying to let him down easily. Jack felt that everywhere bombs were blasting in his heart. Right before he left, he said, "its funny, right? that sometimes I need what only you can provide, your absence". He went aloof.

...

A year has pass. Jen was writing on her journal when her phone rang. She had a text message. She shocked cause it was from James. "I'm outside your door. Please open". She marched to the door and found James standing in the porch. As they stand eye to eye on tryst.

He battered down the silence, "ah, you are here. I was looking so many days for this moment", he said.

"what happen?" Jen curious. She had no idea what he was talking about. He came to Jen and said that he was very please to see her. She replied that she was also glad to see him. He said, “but your face is saying something different.” She turned back and went apart. She was feeling some strange about that guy. His love had penetrated to her heart, but it was a long time ago. Now she doesn't understand at all, seems her face depict her emotion.

He made it clear when he said, "I think we need to sit down and talk. You see, we have so much more than I  ever thought we would, when there's a will, I want to be in it". As he gave her a warm hug, she froze.

Again, Jen is in trouble. She began to recall some memories, one harked back to James. For a year she learns how to accept the fact that maybe they were never meant to be together. Love taught her to expect less, nor at all. And she learns how to not fall in love again, with Jack. Just when she thought all the lessons learned, James's back. Unfortunately for Jen, she can not find her heart in its place. If love is a joke, why she couldn't laugh? She remember someone asked her if she knew James, a million memories flashed through her mind and she whispered, "not anymore".

...

My heart isn't a Disneyland where you can ride a roller coaster, my dear.

 Don't make her wait just because you know she would...

Regards,

Kezia Mamoto

saturday romance

Here we are in the middle of the dessert
with the stars above us,
and you still can't tell me you love me...

I'm falling here,
Watching you
As you slowly walk away.

I'm crouching here,
Hating you
As I pick up the little pieces
The little pieces of my heart.

You walked into my life,

only to teach me

how to live alone...

Sometimes I feel as if this is one sided, you know..
If you left me, I'd chase after you right away
But me, if I left you I don't know if you would come after me...

Sometimes I just want to run,
to see if  you'll want me back.

Sometimes I just don't get it...
What would you do if the one who broke your heart
is the only one who can fix it?

I'd like to believe that I'll wake up one day

and not miss him anymore

I'll finally understand that he broke my heart for a reason,

a reason I just don't understand yet...

nothing is forever

forever is a lie

what we had is only between a hello and a goodbye

I could write a love story
and convince every single reader
that I know what I'm talking about.


But the truth is,
when it comes to love
nobody knows what they are talking about.

randomgalau

Aahh.. wiken dateng juga. Dimalam minggu yang galau ini, jawab soal aja lah..

Paling sulit PDKT sama orang yang...
 ...udah mati.

Apa reaksi kalian kalo diajak jalan sama orang yang kalian suka?
Salto keliling lapangan sambil teriak....Kyaaa...Sumpe lo... Sumpe loooo???

Apa yang kalian lakukan kalo ngeliat cowok pake baju warna pink?
"mas bajunya kelunturan ya?" dan memberikan tips mencuci bagaimana memisahkan baju berwarna dengan baju putih...

Andai aku punya pasangan seperti____, pasti hidupku bahagia.
Bill Gates

Masa PDKT itu memang...
boros

Cinta itu dapat membuat seseorang menjadi...
labil

Buat yang jomblo, kalo ditanya soal pacar sama orang, kalian akan...
menamparnya!

Jadi jomblo itu bukan karena nggak laku, tapi karena...
nasib

Apa yang pertama kali kalian katakan kalo pacar bilang kata putus?
"yakin?"

Pacaran backstreet itu rasanya...
seperti nyanyi bersama Nick Carter

Memperlakukan pasangan itu seharusnya seperti kita memperlakukan .......
bapakmu!

Kalo ternyata pasangan kalian gaptek; gak ngerti bbm,twitter,bahkan angkat telpon aja nggak ngerti. Kalian akan .....
mengirimnya ke jaman purba.

Kalo dapet sms dari pacar yg kaya gini "b3!b..Qmu Ja6AN LuP4 m4kaN yAaa." Kalian akan .....
"Qmu Ju94".... lalu extreme ganti nomer!

Kalo ada cowo yg udah berani main kasar ke cewe. Sebagai cewe kita harus ...
belajar tinju.

Kalo pacar bilang "Apa sih yg gak buat kamu..!!". Kira2 pengen minta apa ke pacar ......
dikenalin sama kakaknya. lebih cute.

Gimana cara yg paling baik ngajak pacar untuk menikah .......
"pacar, kawin yuk".

Alasan putus yg paling baik itu, gimana ....
"maaf, bapakku sudah menjodohkan aku dengan lelaki idamanku..."

Teman curhat yg paling baik adalah ......
tembok

Wow!! Hari ini kamu ganteng banget. Mirip ......
Roy Suryo

Aku gak mau tidur sebelum kamu .....
menye menye unyu unyu

Kata yg langsung keluar ketika ngeliat gebetan tepat di depan kita.....
"hey babe!"

Kalo cowo juga PMS. Kira-kira dia akan marah2 juga atau .....
...nanya, "lo bawa softex nggak, gue tiba-tiba dapet nih..."

Kalo ada cowo yg rela nungguin ceweny ke salon, belanja & bayarin cewenya. Cowo kaya gitu termasuk tipe cowo ....
Metropolis

Gimana cara bales dendam yg paling baik ke mantan pacar ......
...diam-diam menyabut infusnya.


Tanda-tanda orang sedang jatuh cinta adalah .....
mau makan ingat kamu... mau tidur juga ingat kamu... sedang bosan kuingat kamu... oh cintaaaaa..

Sejak pertama kali aku melihat kamu. Aku langsung .....
sujud syukur
 
Kalau sedang patah hati. Enaknya kita .....
menjauhkan diri dari pisau, tali tambang dan baygon

Kamu koq lucu banget sih!! Pengen aku .....
pukul manja... *spank...spank...!!

Cara ngelupain mantan yg paling baik, bagaimana ...
amnesia

Sekarang lagi zaman tante2 sama brondong. Kira2 hal itu terjadi karena ....
Ungu, d'masiv, Wali dan Afgan terlalu banyak menciptakan lagu galau

Jangan terlalu lama memendam perasaan, ungkapin aja! Kalo terlalu lama, nanti .......
expired

Malem minggu ini berharap diajak jalan sama siapa?
kamu

Kalo CINTA itu berwujud. Kira-kira wujudnya seperti ......
kamu

*pertanyaan terakhir* TIDUR!! Pengen mimpiin siapa ......
Kamu!!!

Udah ah... cape! see ya

note : soal-soal disadur dari @soalcinta di twitter.com

Kezia Mamoto

Aujourd'hui j'entre à novembre

I quote this sweet poem by Henry Ward Beecher, what he wrote about October.  

"October is nature's funeral month.  Nature glories in death more than in life..."

Like I said in the previous posts, October was the month of death and sadness. The weather brought us such as gloomy feeling, desperate enough about the delayed appointments and, of course, sadness. It has been said according to the nature spoken to us. Rainy season. Disaster in our living place, let's say, flood in Jakarta has made several places seemed death. Bigger disaster also happened in Mount Merapi, central java and Mentawai island, west Sumatra. People were actually death, struggle for their life, still seeking for help and living in shelters and some of them suffering post- traumatic stress from the disaster. Nature's funeral month in our country brought us together to pray for Indonesia, we send our condolence with the sign of a black ribbon.

As I recall, October also brought us some issues about numbers. The myth about numbers related to the  disaster that they found odd on October, 26th. Which was the date of  Mount Merapi volcanic eruption, earthquake and tsunami in Mentawai island. Some people believed the riddle about number 26 was related to specific previous events and somehow, connected to the bible. But, again, personally, I don't believe in coincidence. The other issue that I found more strange was the numbers of 10-10-10. Yup, people got married, celebrated events and others were focus on what they called 'once-in-a-lifetime' numbers.

But now we say g'bye to October and welcome a new month of the year, November.

We begin this month with sequence disaster of Mount Merapi that unleash powerful eruption again. Mount Merapi erupted 4 times after its status was raised to "beware" level, namely on October 26, 30, 31, and last on November 1. Has been reported that the eruption on November 1 occurred at 10.02 a.m. local time when volcanic materials were flung 1.5 km into the sky and there were no volcanic temblors.

My grandma lives in Magelang, about 2 hours from Jogyakarta, and also some families and relatives lives in villages near to Jogyakarta. And I thank God they're ok. I think my mom would ask them to come to Jakarta if things getting worse. I hope it won't. I, personally, don't buy about what they called 'kejawen' that they believe and myth around the Mount Merapi. I just think God speak His words through this events.

As we welcome this month, I think this month will do another business. We're still on a term of rainy season. According to local news, Jakarta will sink! Jakarta`s open green spaces now continued to be reduced. Of the 661.52 sq kilometers of space, now only about 9.6 percent had remained. The remainder has been transformed into building sites. They predicted Jakarta will drown around 2030 to 2050. Well, I'll be old by then. I think it's time to teach my son, Noah to build an ark. Modern ark with air-cons, a king size bed and spa, maybe.

One of my friend told me that there was a rainbow appear in the sky this afternoon, around 5 or 6 pm. Hard to say, was it a rainbow or moonbow? I was reading about this thing, that it was more like a sun rainbow ring kinda thingy or a halo, or maybe what they called circumhorizontal arc (CHA). Well, they said it was another strange phenomenon but as I was looking at the picture, it was a good view around traffic in Jakarta after all.

November already brought businesses for our country. I know it will bring something to our heart and live. For me, I categorized month based on my observation and I make the conclusion in the end of the month. Such as; Sweet Fairy May, Heartbreaks Lune in June, Goodbyes July, Crudest August and SAD Troubler October. The Anglo-Saxons referred to November as the 'wind month' and the 'blood month'. Yet, I still can't refer November to anything, as tomorrow is a mystery. Aujourd'hui j'entre à novembre.

"It's all a farce, – these tales they tell
About the breezes sighing,
And moans astir o'er field and dell,
Because the year is dying."
-   Paul Laurence Dunbar,  Lyrics of a Lowly Life

Regards,

Kezia Mamoto

(still) miss you... part III

There's nothing sadder than pouring your heart to someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Sometimes the less you want someone, the more you want them. Even when they try to let you down easily, you find yourself still obsess about them. Is it normal to feel this way?

 
Dear brain, sorry for overloading you of the thought of him
Dear pillow, sorry for the tears
Dear heart, sorry for the damage

It's nice to see you again, I knew you'd
be back. Along with those damn butterflies
you always give me every time you walk into my life.

Sometimes the best memories are sad

Because you know they will never gonna happen again

....can't stop thinking how good it used to be.

Seems I rehearse my mind,
so many times...
How you and me
could turn out to be....
To reality!

One night, the moon said to me, 'If he makes you cry, why don't you leave him?' I looked at the moon and said, 'Moon, would you ever leave your sky?'

Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your fault. You made me miss you too much!